forgiveness

Teachable moments.

yesterday morning, my littlest came in with a sad look on his face. 
"Abby's mad at me because I broke her castle.  It was on accident, and when I said I was sorry, she still yelled at me."

"Were you playing around about knocking it down, got carried away and then actually did
knock it down?" (funny how they can be several rooms away and you can still see the whole scene.)

sheepish look. "But I still didn't mean to and now she's mad."

"Did you say you were sorry and not, "I'm sorry!!!!" Perhaps you can try, "I really am sorry. Will you please forgive me for being reckless?"

It's so hard for us to own what we do wrong.  True, he didn't intend to break her castle, but when he did, he
behaved as if she had done something wrong by getting upset; as if demanding forgiveness before actually repenting and being sorry for what he had done.

None of us want to own our mistakes, our bad judgments or our short tempered responses.  We either claim a right to behave that way or we turn it around and blame the other person for our actions and feelings.  We feel entitled to our behavior.  But when is is right to demean someone or undercut another's heart?  When is it our right to belittle someone's character, break a promise, take their belongings or treat them unfairly?  And then, when is is right to believe we have the right to withhold forgiveness from them when they do the same.

insert your name into these scriptures

Ephesians 4:3132
I _______________ will, get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice. I will be kind and compassionate to others, forgiving
others, just as in Christ, God forgave me.

John 13:3435
A new command I give you__________________: Love one another. As I have loved
you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if
you love one another."

Ephesians 4:29 NIV
I ___________________will not let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but
only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen.

Matthew 6:14 NIV
For if I ______________ forgive men when they sin against me, my heavenly Father will
also forgive me.

We are imperfect.  We still mess up, act wrongly and hurt others...even with the best intentions.  We are so grateful for the forgiveness we receive from God through Jesus' sacrifice.  We cling to the assurance that we are forgiven.  We must also remember that first we must repent, be sorry and turn from our sins.  In order to do that, we have to admit we have sinned.

Admit you broke the castle, even if you didn't mean to.  Allow the other person to be upset and feel hurt.  Be truly sorry and ask for forgiveness. 

Both kids came in.  I said, "you love her, yes?  and you love him?  if someone else was hurting one of you, would you come to help?  of course you would.  you are very close and because you're close, you are going to hurt each other.  you're not perfect.  and neither are you.  It's okay to not be perfect.  It's not okay to pretend that you are."

"I didn't mean to break your castle, will you forgive me?"
"I know.  Sure.  Wanna build a fort?"

(big hugs, giggles and running off to build together)

Sometimes it works out that way.  Children are so quick to forgive.  It's like their hearts are still too tender to hold onto something as ugly and coarse as unforgiveness.  We must soften our hearts, tenderize the hardened parts that refuse to forgive, the parts that refuse to admit the mistakes we make that require repentance. 

grace

For today....give a little grace, give others room to be imperfect, see beyond their harshness to their pain and extend some grace.  receive a little grace, be quick to say you were wrong and seek forgiveness.  We must become like little children....with tender hearts...big hugs...giggles.  Then we too will experience the joy of building together.